I am.... the light at the edge of your depression.

Heyya again...

Im sitting here in this CC trying to pass the time for 3 hours and find myself getting mood swings.

The post earlier... I sounded harsh. I shouldn't be taking it out on the little ppl that care for me.
Yes, life's a bitch. But somewhere inside, (incredibly) i still have hope.

And well... I accidentally read and watched smthg that reminded me of that. pfft~

Anyway, that reminded me of a nice song... I'm reminded of my brother everytime I listen to it...
He used to sing it to me when I was small... God, I miss him~ :)



Don't Look Back in Anger
Oasis

Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you've never been
But all the things that you've seen
They slowly fade away

So I'll start a revolution from my bed
'Cuz you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

And so, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
I heard you say

Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows
Where nobody knows if it's night or day
Please don't put your life in the hands
Of a rock and roll band
Who'll throw it all away

I'm gonna start a revolution from my bed
'Cuz you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, 'cuz summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
'Cuz you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

And so, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by
My soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
I heard you say

(guitar solo)

So, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
I heard you say

So, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by
My soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger
I heard you say
At least not today.

This is a joke. This is all a joke.

You know, I really loved Watchmen ... but the sad thing is I only got to see it once, and I got in late cuz I was waiting for my cousin (pfffffft~~) and missed like the whole part where the comedian dies and like, 20 minutes after that (T^T)

And you know, I love quoting random stuff from movies and tv~ XDXDXD (I should do Supernatural after this.. XD i love Dean.. such random crap from thy mouth~)


Edward Blake: God damn I love working on American soil, Dan. Ain't had this much fun since Woodward and Bernstein. Congress is pushing through some new bill that's gonna outlaw masks. Our days are numbered. Till then it's like you always say, we're society's only protection.
Dan Dreiberg: From what?
Edward Blake : You kidding me? From themselves.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan Dreiberg: [referring to the exit tunnel] There's a maintenance hatch that will let you out two blocks north.
Rorschach: I remember. I used to come here often, back when we were partners.
Dan Dreiberg: Those were good times, huh Rorschach? What happened?
Rorschach: [as he walks down the tunnel] You quit.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jon Osterman: In my opinion, the existence of life is a highly overrated phenomenon.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


And one of my favourites:


Rorschach: [reading from journal] Rorschach's Journal. October 12th, 1985: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no."


XDXDXD Seriously, I love Rorschach~ XDXDXD lol

I am Miyuki's wasted life

I hate my life, and I hate myself for hating it, and I deserve no pity whatsoever.

Moving on;

Shagy, I don't care anymore. You don't wanna hang out with me then fine. I'm used to it already, its not like you never done that to me back in school. Everytime I ask you, you always have something to do. Fine. I wont bother you anymore~ Aku bkn merajuk lagi, aku cuma dh malas ok.
Ko nak suro aku tggu kau? Ahaaahaa, aku tggu ko sjk dulu lg weiyh, ble ko ade time utk aku ko cari la aku, sbb aku dh bosan~ Klu bkn aku yg msg ke call ko, ade ke ko trgerak nk contact aku?

Bosan syal. Tp ko fhm kn... daku maseh chentakan dikau shagy! (cuma aku bosan je. nk cr laen, boleh? XDXD)

Same goes to everyone else. I'm tired of having no life, to tell you the truth I'm not as free as people think. Sadly, I've spent April and May at home, my college, at my mom's office and just going back and forth to those places and some random places in between. I spent my time just passing through doing literally nothing and I'm just so friggin ed up already to the point that I decided I have to actually start doing something, hence me projectX thingy, and brushing up on drawing so I could one day be actually usefull for something. But seriously, how can a 20 year old spend days indoors being anti-social? I mean, I hate people in general! Something is seriously wrong with me! Damnit!!! I dont even know half the things I'm rambling about! What the hell am I doing for God's sake?!?!!!

NGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just strangle me already!!! I'm done with it!! D<

I am Miyuki's Deadly Poke.

You know, me and Kurocherub got some boring classes that start in the afternoon, but we always come early (that means 11 for me.. XDXD) In our free time we do random stuff, hence, a pokin vs. stabbing competition. (Kena potong a bit though.. =.=)

I am Sadako's Guilty Pleasure (XDXD)

The Best of You
Foo Fighters

I’ve got another confession to make
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
Holdin’ you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?

I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn’t have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can’t choose
I swear I’ll never give in
No, I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

ooooh,oh,oh
ooooh,oh,oh
ooooh,oh,oh
ooooh,oh,oh
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You'd die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
Your trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I’ve got another confession my friend
I’m no fool
I’m getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

p/s:
SHAGY, aku merajok ngn ko. Pujuk aku balik SKARANG JUGAK.
Hiro, you are an idiot. Damn you~
Kay, me nak ikot pegi Genting!! T^T
Jeradine, dont forget my Jigoku Shoujo next week~ ^_^
Masahiro kun, I randomly put names la to the previous tag~ I didnt want to tag anyone~ but got questions below that~ more fun ne? XDXDXD
Frankie, why you dont layan me???? You dont love me anymore??!! TToTT
Hikari, SELAMAT PULANG!!! hahahaha!!!

And yes, I do like Foo Fighters.... they rock~

I am Shagy's tagged victim.

1. Besides your lips , where is the favourite spot to get kissed
Who said ppl can touch me? =.=''

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
Doomed, then feel like going back to sleep, only to realize I'll be doomed all the same.

3. Who was the last person/people you took a photo with?
. . . . .
Cant remember. XDXD I hate taking pictures~ Maybe..... long long time ago........ with Kay?
XDXDXDXDXDXDXD LOL!!!!

4. Would you considered yourself spoiled?
I wish I could~ T^T

5. Will you ever donate blood?
Maybe.

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
ahhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~ =__=

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
Is that a problem?

8. What does your last text message say?
Something like "Go find a public library" XDXDXD

9. What are you thinking right now?
The annoying person that I feel like stabbing

10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?
Yea. Unfortunately, that PERSON would rather be with someone else. HMPH!!!

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
3 a.m

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
*drumroll* Tesco Puchong Branch! XDXD

13. Is someone on your mind right now?
The person I feel like stabbing.

14. Who was the last person to text you?
Pon chyan~


TEN lucky People to do this quiz ;

1. Kay
2. Shagy (me tag jugak!!! bluek!!! XP)
3. Vivi chan
4. Masahiro
5. Beatrice
6. Hiro pon
7. Kurocherub chan
8. Joanne
9. Hikari
10. Random Person

15. Who is no. 2 having relationship with?
Mamat Tua. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

16. Is no. 3 a male or a female?
Kawaii girl

17. If no. 1 and no.7 get together , would it be good?
OMG!! NuoooooooooOOOOOOO!!! Jeradine ish SO not like that! And even so, noone kacau my kawaii imotou!!

18. What is no.1 studying about?
Form 4, so anything a typical student would.. taking LK... at SMK Bintang Utara.. i think~ ahahaha

20. Is no. 4 single?
I have no idea, but since he's so free, I think, yea, probably~ :P

21. Say something about no. 2.
Kalau psl bnde merepek cmni baru ingat aku eh... poyo... cesss~

22. What do you think of no. 3 and no.6 being together?
Someone's dream come true~ >.>

23. Describe no.9.
Sadist sister that went away to study in Johor~ Ohhh.... hiiiiikaaariiiiii~~
Your chainsaw is getting ruuuuusstyyyyyyyyyy~~

24. What will you do if no. 6 and no.7 fight?
Seriously, that would be very interesting.. hmmm....
ME WATCH.

25. Do you like no. 5?
Yes, she's a very good friend and one of the nicest person I've ever met~ :D

I am Jack's smirking revenge.

Ohooo~me watched Fight Club the other day.. and seriously,I loved every second of it.
ahahaa~~

The fights in it were real, I mean, no cool kung-fu matrix stuff, but real street ugly fighting. Which was disturbing really,but entertaining nontheless.. (seriously? hopefully i'm still considered normal.. a bit. XD) And Brad Pitt was awesome.. never really liked him you know, but he is really fun to watch. The guy CAN act, its just his bonafide superstardom that makes people like me not interested... =.= and not to mention Edward Norton and Helena Bonham Carter~

But what I liked most about the movie was the diaolog. Man, it was seriously crazy. XDXD
If you haven't watched Fight Club yet,go watch it. I'm just amazed at how long it took for me to get hold of it (came out it 1999), but it's also a good thing, cuz if I had watched it sooner, I don't think I would've understood half the crap they were bitchin' about~

Anyway, some memorable quotes (taken off imbd.com) :

Narrarator: This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lou: [Lou hits Tyler in the face] Do you hear me now?
Tyler Durden: No, I didn't quite catch that, Lou. [Lou hits Tyler again]
Tyler Durden: Still not getting it. [Lou hits Tyler a few more times]
Tyler Durden: Ok, I got it. Shit, I lost it. [Lou continues to beat up Tyler]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler Durden: Only after disaster can we be resurrected.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Tyler Durden: Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We are God's unwanted children? So be it!
Narrator: OK. Give me some water!
Tyler Durden: Listen, you can run water over your hand and make it worse or... [shouts]
Tyler Durden: look at me... or you can use vinegar and neutralize the burn.
Narrator: Please let me have it... *Please*!
Tyler Durden: First you have to give up, first you have to *know*... not fear... *know*... that someday you're gonna die.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?
Narrator: So you can breath.
Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.
Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler Durden: It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler Durden: In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler Durden: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler Durden: Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator: On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler Durden: Do you know what a duvet is?
Narrator: It's a comforter...
Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then?
Narrator: ...Consumers?
Tyler Durden: Right. We are consumers. We're the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler Durden: We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
Narrator: Martha Stewart.
Tyler Durden: Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... [whispering]
Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.
Narrator: I don't own... [Officer waves Narrator off]

Me New Shiney Tragic Kingdom! XD

I changed my blof name to Tragic Kingdom... (randomly stole from No Doubt.. aahh.. shut jya boo-ing!) cuz I put "Lyrical Syndicate" as the tittle for me assignment blog.. which is my brand new shiney music blog~ hahaha


So.. dont ask anymore~ XD

Wheeeeeeeee!!!! TAAAAAGGGGG~ =.=

Ahaaa... again.

You've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with the ABC's of YOU. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you - but not in a creepy stalker kind of way.


A- ANIMARU PUNCH NO GUMI! HAIYAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

B- Black.. x blh dipisahkan!! bwahahahahahaha!!!

C- Cheerios~ me love that damn cereal!

D- Deviousssssss....... >D And detective drama fckin rocks.

E- Extremely nerdy.

F- Frankie~ Onii chan that me love the most!

G- Gazette ROCKS!

H- Hamada Masatoshi... me fave sadist

I- Im not gay. XDXD

J- J-rockin' yo!

K- Kay Kay! Kawaii best spammer buddy~ hug aneue! XDXD

L- Linkin Park 4 Life!

M- Matusyama Kenichi... I FREAKIN LOVE YOU! MY DAMN OBSSESSION!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

N- No Talent. No life. My future scares me... T^T

O- OTAKU DESU! XD

P- Procratinator. Ahhh.. damn.. so many...assignments... TT__TT

Q- Queen of the Distress and Coma HAPPY Underworld

R- albeit all my nerdyness and lifeless life i have.. i.do.seriously. ROCK.

S- Shagy.. me awek sejati. XD

T- Tora is one hot guitarist... (ok, i ran out of ideas.. =.=)

U- Uruha... is also a hot guitarist, but me dont like him for some reason.

V- Vivi chan that tagged meh. (I think.. cant remember... =.=)

W- W A F F L E S.

X- Xarel.. name of some random person who failed at stalking me... >D hahaha, YOU SHALL NEVER WIN! XD

Y- Yagami Raito supporter! And you thought I'm an L follower... HAH!

Z- zzZZZZZzzzzz... me love sleeping.

And I tag.. shagy!! XDXD
and everyone else who reads this! XD

ngeh. im lazy to read this... SO WHAT DAMMIT? DO I CARE?? BAHHHHHHHHH!!

Syafiq tagged me on facebook... but me too lazy to paste it there~

Go to this page and find out about thyself~

Mine ish: =.=''
Your view on yourself:Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Oh, teman.

Tukar bahasa, gunakan B.M lak~ hahaha.. (yea, and may you all MARVEL AT MY BEAUTIFUL BM!!! XDXD MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

Anyway, aku ade sorg kawan ni~~ Name die.. pendek kata, shagy.
Shagy ni.. kt blog die ade tulis bnde ntah cm "The old me is dead and gone.. blablabla, somethingsomething bnde x menarik"
ok.

So, short story pompuan ni ckp die menyesal (?) or dgn diri die yg dulu..or diri die yg dulu ni skang dh mati, mampos xlyn kaa?

Kamu nehh.... menyesal sgt ke ng diri ko yg lame hah?
Ko bangga laa ngn diri ko yg skarang ye?

Oh, aku bkn ape... si shagy ni.. best friend aku.. aku fhm sgt laa ape yg terkandung dlm isi otak die tu... xde bende ponn. haha.

Tp yg aku nk ckp skang ni...
Kenapa mesti menyesal ngn diri kamu yg dulu? (And I'm not just talking about shagy here!)
Tapi, bukan ke... diri ko yg dulu tu laa... mengubah jadi diri ko yg skarang?

Yea, aku benci, menyesal, ntah ape kejadah lagi feeling kt action aku from the past, tapi, tu sume dijadikan pengajaran weiyhh.... Jadikan sebahagiaan drpd diri ko yg skarang.


Oh cgy-cgy.. aku nantikan saat ko nk bwk aku gi funfair. AKU NAK PEGI FUNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
p/s: weiyh smalam aku jmpe bdk cm ramadhan seyh~ lalalalala


Ahahaha.. ckp psl kawan.. teringat si Bedah... Fatin oh Fatin~ kemana kau menghilang ohh rakan evilku?
Fatin ni pn satu... menghilang gi Holland... you better bwk balik BELGIUM CHOCO utk aku. Or else expect more fish tagging pictures of you on Facebook! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!
Dah tu hari tu janji nak bg poster L Change the WorLd.. baahhh... mesti abang ko x amek kn...hmph.... mesti ko xde ckp pn ngn abang ko suro amekkn utk aku kn... <.<


Oh, Kenichi...
teringat plk PC baby aku... sian die... hanging lagi... myawwww..... sorry baby.. mama yg bersalah~~ T^T
Haritu aku bkk cr lgu jpn aku...
dan sangat kecewa....
lagu2 yg latest download sume hilang...
ALICENINE AND GAZETTE WEIYHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TTTT_____TTTT

demo, yg paling buat aku sedih... lagu OH MY JULIET hilang.
Oh... no, no, babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TT^TT

Grey would be the color.... if I had a Heart~

One day...
I'm gonna runaway.
I wont regret
And I wont turn back.
Till then, I'll just have to hold on
Wait silently, for my time to be forgotten and gone.
--------------------------------------------------------------

I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ear
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head
'til I don't want to sleep anymore

You make this all go away
I just want something I can never have
You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart

You'll make this all go away
I just want something I can never have
In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now
I know it's still the same
And everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading reminder of who I use to be

Something I can Never Have, Flyleaf

Feeling Trinka Trinka! XD

I love cupcakes~ I love them, I seriously do.. yes, it seems girly, but they're so pretty~ nyaaaa~!!! XDXD

Yay for pinky gheyy cupcakes! Hoorey for purple bithcy ones! Xlol

Anyway, more good news~ Linkin Park ish coming out with a new single, called "New Divide" will come out on May 18th and guess what.... its the theme song for Transformers:Revenge of the Fallen!! OMGOMGOMGOMOGMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I totally goota sse the movie! mnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!!!!!

Hahahaha, gotta love 'em~ XD

Etoo.... mmmm... i want cupcakes la. Hahhahahahahahahaha~ (Actually I forgot what I wanted to blog about~ nyaaaaaaa~~~!!!!!! *kena piak*)

It rains in My Heart When the Sky Cries

I think I'm depressed. =.=''

Seriously~ Haaaaah.....I'm tired already. Mentally tired. I've had enough, I want out.
You know, these past few days have been stressing for me. One thing that is getting to me is my 3dmodelling work.
Well, I guess it suits me right for delaying and procrastinating so much. Damn, after my internet got cut only I realized how damn lazy I really am. For God's sake, imagine me sleeping or doing random stupid stuff instead of working on my 3dmodelling.. I mean, I do realize the fact that I keep delaying finishing it is because of something mentally bugging me, but, damn, 3 weeks! 3 WEEKS!!! arrghhh... and then when I DO WANNA START doing it, suddenly my pc got problem la... what the fcking hell la? Seriously, i cant take it!

Then yesterday I didn't know what I should do... keep quiet and ponteng my animation class today, or tell my lecturer, Dictator Ching and face him today~

I was actually scared... i knew what i should do, but i dont know why, i just couldn't find the answer. It may seem like nothing, ponteng class, and really, it isn't.. (hahhahhahahahahaha) but, you know, sometimes... its better to face your problems and be honest to yourself. My lecturer, he knew I had problems with modelling and so far, he has been helpful and tolerant throughout all the weeks I took to finish the first assignment. Bahhhh, I guess I ffel like I'm cheating myself in this subject. I know I can do it, but I just dont wanna do it. I suck, I hate myself for that.

Its funny, while I was thinking about what I should do, I suddenly was reminded of Hiro pon~ hahaha XD
ehemmm... Its cuz everytime I get myself into trouble like this I go emo and bitch about it to him... XDXDXD lol
Then he tells me what I should do, but then go "Oh, I know that.. just bitchin"...I mean.. whats the point? XDXD Aiyahh.. idiot...

Anyway, its like, when I'm faced with a problem, I know what I'm supposed to do.. but last night, I was such in a state of despair, I wanted to cry.. I felt helpless for some reason.. If I'm doing whats right, then why am I crying? Then it hit me. I had no faith in myself.


And thus continued with the thoughts of deadly despair, at the same time trying to cancel them out and think positive. After a while I was ok though, hahaha, and dictator-san said it was ok, but he said that I'll have to finish everything before the end of June, and get an A, or fail. Yea, A or FAIL. Nothing in between. XDXD lol *swt*

I decided to come today. Though I was depressed the whole time. I got a little "panic" or "anxiety"or something like that in class.. hahaha~ maybe not a real attack la, but I was worried and thinking bad thoughts till I couldn't control my feelings and cried~ T*T

I feel stupid now~~ grrrrrr.....

Anyway, now, I officially pledge my alliance to the Communist Dictator!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! *not a communist la, just saying XP*

*Looks at what I just wrote*
I'm damn messed up la. And annoying. And really.. WTFH?
Now.. where'd my ignorance go....? XD

Living One Step Closer

I loved this song ever since the first time I heard it. Asong from my ultimately favourite band in the universe... but now, I finally can understand those words Chester was screaming. "Understand", as in feel, i can relate to the song.. I feel im living it now. Now I can appreciate the song more than ever.


"One Step Closer"
Linkin Park

I cannot take this anymore
Saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
You'll find that out anyway

Just like before...

[Chorus:]
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break


I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again

Just like before...


[Chorus]

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break

Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up,
shut up,
shut up


Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up,
shut up,
shut up,
shut up

I'm about to BREAK

[Chorus]

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break



and a little something extra... ;D [taken from Reanimation.. X3]

These are the places where I can feel
torn from my body My flesh, it peels
during this ride, we can cut up what we like
Waiting alone, I cannot resist
Feeling this hate, I have never missed
Please, someone, give me a reason to rip off my face
Blood is a pouring
And pouring
And pouring
And pouring
And pouring
And pouring
And pouring
And pouring
And pouring
And pouring

I'm a FREAKIN GENIUS!

You know.. in my last post i said i was really into TTGL... im always at some point randomly fangirling something to the point it will get me into trouble.

DAMN!!!!!!!!

TTGL- episode 4~ downloaded at anime-eden.com
was REWATCHING it..

the first time when i dl the episode, i left it in my "downloads" folder... i couldnt move it to me "anime" foleder for some reason..
i tried to move it yesterday~ and still couldn't.. it said it was open in a different folder..blabla

so i decided to delete it, cuz i needed to arrange my files, etc to save my precious RAM...

and being the fcking genius i am, i DRAGGED the thing to the recycle bin. Accidently left it on my desktop though.....
dakara....

"windows has stopped working" over and over and OVER again.

I cant find a way to delete the stupid thing!!! I tried everything!!!!!!! omigosh... im gonna die..... IM GONNA FCKIN DIE!!!!!!!!!


Im.... falling...deeper... into despair.................... why world, WHY??!!??!!!