Everything has an end, but it doesnt mean it will be lost

Dear best friend. I'm sorry about my last post, whether or not you read it or not.
I wont delete it, cuz its something that I was feeling at the time, I wont hide it.

I'm just sorry cuz I the things I said will, or did hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, in fact you know how much I love you.:D

So, if we stop being best friends like we were once upon a time, or we drift apart, I wanna tell you

that the times we had together I cherish
and whatever it is, I am here for you
I'm glad I got to know you
and I'm glad you consider(ed) me as an important person
so thank you

To the one I loved, our dance is about to end~

I dont know why I still call you my best friend... I dont know you anymore. Hell, you seem to not want to have anything to do with me~ You think I bitch around just to be a bitch?

Well fuck you, and fuck whatever it is that your thinking, cuz you dont give a damn about how I feel. Its idiotic isnt it? The only way I have to express myself to you is through my blog. Think about it. Why the hell is that?

So yea. Dont you think I'd be pissed off about now? God dammit, you know that this is the last thing that I'd want to do, but for crying out loud, what the hell do you think I am? My heart isnt for you to break!

I hate you all, you know. But I love you.

I see you hiding with your tears
This song is written for you
It bends into your story
Everytime its played over

Energy lifts up from the trees, my heart
Fitting the ears listening

A golden glitter thread weaving
Into the garment of tears
Spinning and releasing your thoughts
Untucking the moment from your heart

Love Love Love
Here they come, my lambent fireflies
Surrounding you, lighting up your trail
Love Love Love
Close your eyes, were all under the same sky
You have me
Whoever you are
I love you.

Everyone is included
Take your time if you need rest
Fall asleep, Ill watch over you
Youll wake when youve had enough

Energy lifts up from the soil, flowers
Turning distress to strength

Whatever you do, dont give a damn what they say
You are wonderful just the way you are
Cant stop whats coming your way

Love Love Love
From highlands whispering out, calling your name
Brightening your north star
Love Love Love
Close your eyes, lets dance together all night
You dont need anything
This is real to me

Love Love Love
From highlands whispering out, calling your name
Brightening your north star
Love Love Love
Here they come, my lambent fireflies
Surrounding you, lighting up your trail
Love Love Love
Close your eyes
Were all under the same sky
You have me
Whoever you are
I love you.

"It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years, I had roses, and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An Inch, it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you. -Valerie"

Welcome to the Dead Leaf Parade.

So yea, now for real updates.

First of all... SHOUJO MANGA BANZAI!! rofl, I'm so loving shoujo manga now... the comedy ones, mind you.. definitely NOT Vampire Knight and the like~

And you know why? Because of bishies. Yes, i like them more straight. LMAO!! Yaoi hinting is nice, but to have them wasted on fellow guys are just a waste~ T*T

Ok, honestly, I dont really read a lot of shoujo manga, and most of them are insanely intolerable, especially those where the characters have eyes as bigs as melons. But, there are a few that are really good~ Skip Beat, Kaicho wa Maid sama, High School Debut, one shots from Motomi Kyousuke, my fave shoujo mangaka and I recently started reading Oresama Teacher.. damn hawwwwwwt~ *nyappy~*

Switch girl is also good, cuz the heroine is just crack (pun not intended). Wallflower is good because of Nakahara Sunako, a girl I wish to be very much. But ultimately, Mogami Kyouko from Skip Beat has got to be the luckiest (well, after her bad luck streak la) girl ever. She has the most popular actor in Japan, 2 (scary and hawwt) vk rockers plus some other dudes trying to win her heart.. the best part is... SHE HAS NONE!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Ohh did I mention the actor dude is also scary? I think he's probably the most scariest in the manga, after Kyouko. I think I have a thing for scary guys like that. It makes me wonder if I'm really a masochist. Hmmm~~ lol random

[ok REAL update now]

I'm now into my 6th semester, so next semester which will start in June (I think) I'll be starting my friggin internship!! BWAAHHHH~!! I cant wait to get out of tht dumbass college. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!

So right now, I'm trying to hunt down my work so I can add them to my so empty portfolio. T*T

My mother wants me to balik kampung for my practical.... in other words, go back to Canada~ for like, 3 months.. until Raya. So if I do go there, I would be fasting there.... "orz you have to wake up at 4 dammit~

KAYKAY!! HIKARI!! ANEUE WILL MISS YOU DEARLY!! That is.. if I go... I dont wanna get my hopes up or anything, anything can happen you know... the thing is my mom is like, dead set on sending me away~ =w=

I just hope I can still be able to be a hikikomori if I go there~

Aside from going there, I'm interested going to Animasia or some publishing company that my friends are aiming for. It'd be cool if you get to do your practical with people you know.. it makes being anti social easier.. you dont need to socialize as much with people you never met before. Rofl.

Incomprehensible logic from hell, I know. XDD

P/S: I forgot to make a post tribute to Ruki during his birthday. T*T gomen ne, taka chan. But I think I got it covered... all over... my blog... his smexxy face~~ *drools* Happy Belated Bday though darling~ Love you~ ngeeeeeeeeee~~ :3

Oh Kenken... I need to post more of your pics~ Do you realize how much I love you? This ai'nt healthy man~ T*T Ahh.. fuck whoever, I cant stop loving you. Take that, *********

btw, *cough* encik senior sudah single balik. from what i've been stalking la. 8D

Wishful balloons, fly away with my heart, my feelings... and explode with all your might

Its the 7th already..... Kenken's bday was 2 days ago... I missed my annual planned happy birthday spam on all of my anti-social networking sites.. damn. OTZ at least I got to spam fb~ *semangat*

Wahh~ its been a while since I was last posted something here. Posted and actually WROTE something.. hahha should I copy pasta more random lyrics? XP

You know, I thought it was just a joke before this, but I have come to realize I really cant, I mean seriously CANT have any emotions or feelings or whatever the hell crap for anyone.... cuz I fangirl too much!! It took THREE guys to tell me that, and yet I thought nothing of it.

I love Kenichi too much.

On the eve of his birthday, I was in a really bad mood.. but suddenly for some reason I felt light hearted... and was kept being reminded of him~ (I lost track of what day it was - rofl) Plus I was listening to my emo kero soundtrack~ I felt... eto~ you know... the feeling you have when you see your crush~ lol~ Then I realized it was almost the 5th. XDD Super fangirl PAWAAAAAA!!

Just in case you're wondering, my emo kero playlist includes these songs;

21 guns

kuroi namida ~deep sadness version [anna tsuchiya]

guren [2nd husband's band]

dreams [haikara]

love love love [olivia]

tears and rainbows (which i love!!) [olivia]

goodbye days [yui]

wonderwall [oasis]

.... well you get the picture. :3

By the time you get to this part, you realize I really dont have anything good to say. 8D

I just felt like writing.. rather talking... its what, 5 a.m who the hell am i supposed to talk to? The ghost above my ceiling? No~ pfft.

Happy Birthday Kenichi... even though I may remain lifeless, loveless, emotionless, single and worthless (most probably end up alone and die a virgin) I will always love you.