I love skulls
I love flowers (roses) and skulls and guns
I love Ed Hardy (eventhough ppl say only douchebags like them)
But for God's sake
WHY THE HELL CANT I DRAW A FRIKKEN SKULL??!!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Random Self-Insecure Tapemeasure Quiz
Your Last Words: |
 "So, you're a cannibal." |
Your Bathroom Habits Say You're Selfish |
 You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours. Your idea of fashion is jeans and a t-shirt. Clean, if you're lucky. You are a little shy and easily embarrassed. You often wonder if you are normal. In relationships, you are practical and realistic. You have a romantic side, but you only let it out when it's appropriate. |
Tweet My Twitter Freak! (I have no clue wth that means)
Yea so I'm almost kinda active on twitter. 8D
Cool I stalk celebrities now. Nobody really gives a damn what I tweet about~ Bahahahahah!
I also have a formspring. I dont know why~
Facebook betrayed me. Ruthless piece of jackshit. How could it?! After all the memories we had together~ It made my friends think I dont wanna friend them anymore, and made me emo cuz I thought nobody wanna friend me anymore either. =.= Hence, I make new one. Pffffft. [Sayonara, Bradley]
I missed blogging. Hhahahahahahah XDDD
And I hate myspace even more than before Bwahahahahahahahah~!! So dead, only go there to check updates from jrockers. Apparently they dont use friggin Twitter or FB like the rest of the world. Except Olivia~ ohh darling Livey chan, so updated on... stuff. .____.
Find my twitter thingy!
@ChizuruMiyuki
Formspring me something!
blackorchidpulp
myspace me something unimportant!
myspace.com/byakuya-oniisan
... and facebook~~
no, thats personal enough. >.>
The days I realize I wasnt really living, but not at all dying.
Wow I havent been blogging at all. HAH! Thought I was dead dint you? DIDNT YOU?!
Well, not yet at least~ 8D
Yea so I've started my internship already, and as I foresaw I didnt get to go to Canada. Fuck. I dont wanna talk about it, cuz it stabs me in the heart everytime I think about it. =.=
But aside from that, I'm doing ok where I am now. To say its not as good as being in Canada.. well.. pfft, but hey, at least I'm still learning here. You know being an eccentric-dont-give-a-damn kinda designer, being in a corporate environment helps a lot to understand what corporate people want, and how they look at things. Its pretty hard coping with what they want and expect, but its all good.
Lately I've been really emo~ not that emo emo, but depressed, to the extent I think I need professional help XDD. What problems I have.. well not really the kind of problems you find in a telenovela, but sometimes things just get out of hand.
Look at this cute thing. K-k-kawaii~!! Less than 3!!
If death comes and takes me today, I regret not living. Not living life the way I wanted to. Not being a good enough muslim, not being a good enough daughter or sister or friend or person. But thats humans for you, never good enough, never happy with what they have.
I dream; I dream of being someone who creates art, masterpieces. Recently I've been introduced to videos, which is awesome. I love movies~ one day... maybe I can make my own~ But what I dream the most about... is being free. My mother doesn't care if I wanna go out, as long as I dont bother her. But I'm not talking about that kinda freedom. Its just so sad... there is nothing really I can say I'm free to do. I dream of a world with no boundaries, but what I am in now is like a box. Closed box~
R.I.P Milla Jirojovich, Mommy loves you forever.
Well, not yet at least~ 8D
Yea so I've started my internship already, and as I foresaw I didnt get to go to Canada. Fuck. I dont wanna talk about it, cuz it stabs me in the heart everytime I think about it. =.=
But aside from that, I'm doing ok where I am now. To say its not as good as being in Canada.. well.. pfft, but hey, at least I'm still learning here. You know being an eccentric-dont-give-a-damn kinda designer, being in a corporate environment helps a lot to understand what corporate people want, and how they look at things. Its pretty hard coping with what they want and expect, but its all good.
Lately I've been really emo~ not that emo emo, but depressed, to the extent I think I need professional help XDD. What problems I have.. well not really the kind of problems you find in a telenovela, but sometimes things just get out of hand.
Look at this cute thing. K-k-kawaii~!! Less than 3!!It doesn't help when your whole family is against you. You know, when a friend goes and betrays you it really hurts, but what if your own flesh and blood does that? I'm not saying my family doesn't love me... not at all, but.. its just weird... how I always find myself crying alone at night. *sigh*
Which brings me to the point of blogging about stupid crap like my depression. See, I know, my life was meant to be a crappy one. Not crappy la, but not full of excitement and ambition my mind dreams of. Just a normal everyday life maybe, if I'm lucky. But for now, my life is like the lowest depths of low. To the point I get suffocated and wish that one day someone will come and save me. But this here is reality, and in reality, I gotta save myself dammit. Cuz no fucking dude is gonna come and reach out, so I gotta pull myself up, and then become the dude that saves the lost. Thats what all those nights of tears and self pity taught me. In other words, throw everything at me, cuz as long as I keep to the promises I made to myself, I refuse to succumb to the fear in me.
The promises I made to myself, it keeps me going, keeps my head up.
Which brings me to the point of blogging about stupid crap like my depression. See, I know, my life was meant to be a crappy one. Not crappy la, but not full of excitement and ambition my mind dreams of. Just a normal everyday life maybe, if I'm lucky. But for now, my life is like the lowest depths of low. To the point I get suffocated and wish that one day someone will come and save me. But this here is reality, and in reality, I gotta save myself dammit. Cuz no fucking dude is gonna come and reach out, so I gotta pull myself up, and then become the dude that saves the lost. Thats what all those nights of tears and self pity taught me. In other words, throw everything at me, cuz as long as I keep to the promises I made to myself, I refuse to succumb to the fear in me.
The promises I made to myself, it keeps me going, keeps my head up.
I dream; I dream of being someone who creates art, masterpieces. Recently I've been introduced to videos, which is awesome. I love movies~ one day... maybe I can make my own~ But what I dream the most about... is being free. My mother doesn't care if I wanna go out, as long as I dont bother her. But I'm not talking about that kinda freedom. Its just so sad... there is nothing really I can say I'm free to do. I dream of a world with no boundaries, but what I am in now is like a box. Closed box~
R.I.P Milla Jirojovich, Mommy loves you forever.Its funny how I write about crappy crap first then something totally different at the bottom. XDD Then back to total crap. Bwahahahaha XDDDD
So, my baby Jiro died last May. I was heartbroken, my baby... Jiro was so smart, like the most smartest cat in the world I tell ya. Other cats are just at her mercy. pfft.
Jiro... she loved the outside. I brought her home cuz her owner had to keep her on the balcony when she was away cuz her other cats would chase and scratch her. She was smart enough not to jump off~ :D
When I first brought her home I remember her mouth was foaming... my mother thought she ate a frog.. but no, she was just super paranoid. XDD Like me!! *awww sho cute~*
Jiro kun would always go out and hang out on the roof. She hated being kept inside, she only came back to eats and sleep and play with me sometimes when it got too hot to stay outdoors~
But she got sick... my mom said not to let her out, cuz if she did go out, she'd never come back. So I put her in my brother's room (he doesn't use it, its empty) and spent her dying days in there. She'd always beg to come out, and sit near the door so she could have an opportunity to run. But I still didnt let her go out. I said to her "Jiro, kalau jiro baik nnt mommy bwk kluar ok?"
But a few days went past and she died
I got home and found her by the door
She wanted to go out and taste her freedom just one more last time.
Jiro baby, mommy is so sorry. Mommy regrets not taking care of you properly, not letting you out when I knew you wanted to see feel the wind again. Pls forgive mommy. Mommy loves you forever.
At least now you arent tied down, you dont have boundaries you have to keep to.
You're not living in a closed box.
So, my baby Jiro died last May. I was heartbroken, my baby... Jiro was so smart, like the most smartest cat in the world I tell ya. Other cats are just at her mercy. pfft.
Jiro... she loved the outside. I brought her home cuz her owner had to keep her on the balcony when she was away cuz her other cats would chase and scratch her. She was smart enough not to jump off~ :D
When I first brought her home I remember her mouth was foaming... my mother thought she ate a frog.. but no, she was just super paranoid. XDD Like me!! *awww sho cute~*
Jiro kun would always go out and hang out on the roof. She hated being kept inside, she only came back to eats and sleep and play with me sometimes when it got too hot to stay outdoors~
But she got sick... my mom said not to let her out, cuz if she did go out, she'd never come back. So I put her in my brother's room (he doesn't use it, its empty) and spent her dying days in there. She'd always beg to come out, and sit near the door so she could have an opportunity to run. But I still didnt let her go out. I said to her "Jiro, kalau jiro baik nnt mommy bwk kluar ok?"
But a few days went past and she died
I got home and found her by the door
She wanted to go out and taste her freedom just one more last time.
Jiro baby, mommy is so sorry. Mommy regrets not taking care of you properly, not letting you out when I knew you wanted to see feel the wind again. Pls forgive mommy. Mommy loves you forever.
At least now you arent tied down, you dont have boundaries you have to keep to.
You're not living in a closed box.
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