Save Me From the Fires of 1000 Suns

Today.. a little ranting about Linkin Park. Recently they've released their new single, The Catalyst off their upcoming album A Thousand Suns. So the thing is, fans have mixed views about their new single, and how the album is gonna sound like. LP's transition from their Hybrid Theory era to Minutes to Midnight have been speculated by fans, and honestly most people hate it. They want the old LP back, with all their Hybrid glory, and make rebellious music like they used to. So whats my take on this, as a die hard Lp fan?

As I mentioned on my twitter page;
"Maybe its fangirlism talking, but I get pissed when ppl talk crap about the new LP songs. They just dont get what they're trying to do~ Its what artistes do, evolve. Whats wrong with trying and experimenting with something fresh and new? And how could you expect them to make music like Hybrid Theory? Yes, Hybrid was brilliant, but they gotta move on. Maybe the new album isnt gonna be as brilliant as Hyrbid, but that doesnt mean theres less passion. I guess thats what sets them apart from other bands~ Either you love them, or you could STFU."


See, LP is both artist and artiste. What I mean is that they aren't just performers, but they're also you could say, practitioners of art. If you're an artist you can understand the need to change the comfort zone you're in. You want to experience different things, to evolve. It doesn't matter if other people like it or not, because its indulgent. Either you have the openness to love it, or you hate it for your own reasons. The thing that matters is that YOU love it, because its yours and you told your story. If that story could reach out to people, make them feel, make them understand, then you have gold. To compare LP as a musical performer to someone else, maybe they come off short as creating something as widely accepted and celebrated as Hybrid Theory. Some people might think they've lost their touch, and cant recreate that epicness, unlike some other performers who dont fail to release an equally good album.

In my opinion I think they CAN reproduce Hybrid Theory, but they DONT want to. What for? They arent the same people they were back then. They cant be going on about how the hate the world, or how people hate them~ I think the lyrics that they write now, about the issues of this world, are excellent. It gives people hope. And thats saying a lot, cuz I hate this world. I despise it. Hearing the lyrics gives me something to look forward tomorrow. Who are you to condemn them of giving people that? Anyway, these are my opinions only. Yeah I love them, but I also respect other people's opinions too. Imma fangirl, but I refuse to be one of those stupid annoying whores that love Twilight and Bieber and cant understand anything other than those 2 things.

I'm not a music or an art expert, but I do love LP and been loving them since One Step Closer, and I understand and appreciate what they're trying to do. So that being said, I'll be looking forward to A Thousand Suns that's coming out September 14th. As sure as hell I'll be buying it and you know I'll be loving it. ;D

Of Death, Lies, Roses, Decapitation and Inception.

Hey budak! 8D

Ahhh, I missed me blog. Long time haven't been writing here... as usual, I found the time to update random crap cuz I got nothing else better to do. And as usual, from the tittle you probably know has nothing to do with what I'm gonna chatter on about.

Ok, the tragedy first.

My older brother pisses me off. He called my mom and told her he was frustrated why I gave up so easily going to Canada, and never doing what he asked me to do. In his mind that's typical Malaysians for you, their mindset at stagnation, negativity seeping into the brain sells like locusts.

You know, I AM a procrastinator, but the reason I didnt do those motion graphic tutorials that he asked me to do were because I DIDNT HAVE FRIGGIN TIME. Seriously, I was working from morning till evening, and get home late every night. Even if I wasnt tired and could do it, my younger brother needed the computer more than I did, as he was busy with his assignments. I mean, I hogged the PC everytime I'm in threat of being toast at the end of each semster, so it would only be fair to let him use it. (Yea we share the pc, we poor students, fuck off)

I dont do work Sundays cuz thats the only day I get a chance to relax. I always kept to that cuz I dont wanna end up being some person that misses out on living. Yea, you could say thats lame, but fuck you its my choice.

Then after a month waiting, my brother told me he didnt have any projects=no work=no money. He told me to just go borrow money from whoever I can. I mean, can you believe that? Not only do I have to pay for the tickets, but also visa and other things I might need. Wouldn't that trouble my mom and other people? He told me to claim my citizenship and all, but might I remind him that I'm going for my practical training only? Like, thats for less than 2 months. Its not worth it, cuz I'm still on loan, and I cant simply just become Canadian you know. If the college finds out then I would have to pay International fees now wouldn't I? Then tell me who is the one that will be suffering? Our mother right? pffft.

But screw that, the thing I'm angry about is that he said I gave up too easily. I mean, REALLY? For God's sake. I can only say if I am one to give up that easily, I wouldn't be living rite now. Even if I was, I wouldn't be here, or I wouldn't recognize the people I love. I would never have imagined he would say something that hurt me so much, never imagine he would make me cry. Thats why I have trust issues. Everytime I lean on someone, or hope for their support they turn around and abandon me. But I cant say that to my brother. I could never tell him how I feel, cuz I know that would hurt him and I'd rather be it me thats in pain than him.. he suffered enough.

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Ok enough of that crap. Take a look at cute Pomeranian Puppies.

Ok enough of that.

I watched the very awesome Inception the other day. And another day. And planning to watch it again. Cuz it feels like a dream you dont wanna end, like when you have a really cool dream then you suddenly wake up, and you try falling back to sleep in hopes you redream it. Thats how awesome it is. I mean, the flow of the whole movie is just so beautiful, especially the climax. How it starts off (the climax) and little by little it build up untill the explosive peak.

Its just so perfect, and thats saying something. I just love how the movie itself is an original concept (yes you can see influences from other movies and stuff, and YES I know about the Scrooge comic, and its mind blowing, but.. screw it. :D)

Ok, even if it wasn't original if you choose to believe Chris Nolan stole it from Scrooge, the way he executed the damn movie was beautiful. The slow motion and the zero gravity.. fuck yes. And the part where they're in the van and everything is slowing down and they're arms and legs go up so beautifully when the van swivels left and right, up and down... the stupid audience I was watching it with were laughing at those parts. I didnt think it was funny at all, hell, seeing the motion they created was just spectacular. All the characters were interesting, lovable, they were human yo. Shit, I wanna write something better than crap I'm talking about here, but my mind is blown.

One thing for sure is, and I quote from @NathanFillion, " Inception. All I'm gonna say is: Hotel hallway. That's a long way from 3rd Rock from the Sun. Nice. "

Yea, my thoughts exactly! Holy shi--- mind especially blown when I realized that dude kicking asses at zero gravity was that teenage alien dude with long hair. I mean, SHIIIIIITT. Its like, watching Keanu Reeves in Bill& Ted then watching him in The Matrix... one right after the other... only like 5 times more mind blowing, cuz I've never seen Joseph Gordon-Levitt star in anything except 3rd rock! THEN I REALIZED HE WAS COBRA FRIGGIN COMMANDER! @_______@ *OKIMMAFANGIRLHIMNOW 8D*

Awesome poster for awesome movie

And the alien teams up with Jack

You've come a long way, my son. We are proud.

I also bought the new Darren Shan book, The Thin Executioner. Really an interesting read, although not as gripping as Cirque, nor as gory as Demonata. I really think all Malaysian children should read Thin Executioner, as it really stresses on respecting other cultures, races, religions and just have respect for one another. The book follows a young son of an executioner, who was dishonored by his father in front of his whole village. He then decides to go on a journey to regain his honor, respect and the hand of his love. Accompanied by a slave that must sacrifice himself for his family, they both encounter hardships and adventure that teaches us all very good lessons.

Still, I prefer blood, brains, and gore. 8D

Pfft.

I love skulls

I love flowers (roses) and skulls and guns

I love Ed Hardy (eventhough ppl say only douchebags like them)

But for God's sake

WHY THE HELL CANT I DRAW A FRIKKEN SKULL??!!

Random Self-Insecure Tapemeasure Quiz

Your Last Words:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

Your Bathroom Habits Say You're Selfish

You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours. Your idea of fashion is jeans and a t-shirt. Clean, if you're lucky. You are a little shy and easily embarrassed. You often wonder if you are normal. In relationships, you are practical and realistic. You have a romantic side, but you only let it out when it's appropriate.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes

Tweet My Twitter Freak! (I have no clue wth that means)

Yea so I'm almost kinda active on twitter. 8D
Cool I stalk celebrities now. Nobody really gives a damn what I tweet about~ Bahahahahah!

I also have a formspring. I dont know why~

Facebook betrayed me. Ruthless piece of jackshit. How could it?! After all the memories we had together~ It made my friends think I dont wanna friend them anymore, and made me emo cuz I thought nobody wanna friend me anymore either. =.= Hence, I make new one. Pffffft. [Sayonara, Bradley]

I missed blogging. Hhahahahahahah XDDD
And I hate myspace even more than before Bwahahahahahahahah~!! So dead, only go there to check updates from jrockers. Apparently they dont use friggin Twitter or FB like the rest of the world. Except Olivia~ ohh darling Livey chan, so updated on... stuff. .____.


Find my twitter thingy!
@ChizuruMiyuki

Formspring me something!
blackorchidpulp

myspace me something unimportant!
myspace.com/byakuya-oniisan

... and facebook~~
no, thats personal enough. >.>

The days I realize I wasnt really living, but not at all dying.

Wow I havent been blogging at all. HAH! Thought I was dead dint you? DIDNT YOU?!
Well, not yet at least~ 8D

Yea so I've started my internship already, and as I foresaw I didnt get to go to Canada. Fuck. I dont wanna talk about it, cuz it stabs me in the heart everytime I think about it. =.=
But aside from that, I'm doing ok where I am now. To say its not as good as being in Canada.. well.. pfft, but hey, at least I'm still learning here. You know being an eccentric-dont-give-a-damn kinda designer, being in a corporate environment helps a lot to understand what corporate people want, and how they look at things. Its pretty hard coping with what they want and expect, but its all good.


Lately I've been really emo~ not that emo emo, but depressed, to the extent I think I need professional help XDD. What problems I have.. well not really the kind of problems you find in a telenovela, but sometimes things just get out of hand.

Look at this cute thing. K-k-kawaii~!! Less than 3!!

It doesn't help when your whole family is against you. You know, when a friend goes and betrays you it really hurts, but what if your own flesh and blood does that? I'm not saying my family doesn't love me... not at all, but.. its just weird... how I always find myself crying alone at night. *sigh*


Which brings me to the point of blogging about stupid crap like my depression. See, I know, my life was meant to be a crappy one. Not crappy la, but not full of excitement and ambition my mind dreams of. Just a normal everyday life maybe, if I'm lucky. But for now, my life is like the lowest depths of low. To the point I get suffocated and wish that one day someone will come and save me. But this here is reality, and in reality, I gotta save myself dammit. Cuz no fucking dude is gonna come and reach out, so I gotta pull myself up, and then become the dude that saves the lost. Thats what all those nights of tears and self pity taught me. In other words, throw everything at me, cuz as long as I keep to the promises I made to myself, I refuse to succumb to the fear in me.

The promises I made to myself, it keeps me going, keeps my head up.

If death comes and takes me today, I regret not living. Not living life the way I wanted to. Not being a good enough muslim, not being a good enough daughter or sister or friend or person. But thats humans for you, never good enough, never happy with what they have.


I dream; I dream of being someone who creates art, masterpieces. Recently I've been introduced to videos, which is awesome. I love movies~ one day... maybe I can make my own~ But what I dream the most about... is being free. My mother doesn't care if I wanna go out, as long as I dont bother her. But I'm not talking about that kinda freedom. Its just so sad... there is nothing really I can say I'm free to do. I dream of a world with no boundaries, but what I am in now is like a box. Closed box~

R.I.P Milla Jirojovich, Mommy loves you forever.

Its funny how I write about crappy crap first then something totally different at the bottom. XDD Then back to total crap. Bwahahahaha XDDDD

So, my baby Jiro died last May. I was heartbroken, my baby... Jiro was so smart, like the most smartest cat in the world I tell ya. Other cats are just at her mercy. pfft.

Jiro... she loved the outside. I brought her home cuz her owner had to keep her on the balcony when she was away cuz her other cats would chase and scratch her. She was smart enough not to jump off~ :D

When I first brought her home I remember her mouth was foaming... my mother thought she ate a frog.. but no, she was just super paranoid. XDD Like me!! *awww sho cute~*

Jiro kun would always go out and hang out on the roof. She hated being kept inside, she only came back to eats and sleep and play with me sometimes when it got too hot to stay outdoors~

But she got sick... my mom said not to let her out, cuz if she did go out, she'd never come back. So I put her in my brother's room (he doesn't use it, its empty) and spent her dying days in there. She'd always beg to come out, and sit near the door so she could have an opportunity to run. But I still didnt let her go out. I said to her "Jiro, kalau jiro baik nnt mommy bwk kluar ok?"

But a few days went past and she died

I got home and found her by the door

She wanted to go out and taste her freedom just one more last time.

Jiro baby, mommy is so sorry. Mommy regrets not taking care of you properly, not letting you out when I knew you wanted to see feel the wind again. Pls forgive mommy. Mommy loves you forever.

At least now you arent tied down, you dont have boundaries you have to keep to.

You're not living in a closed box.

Everything has an end, but it doesnt mean it will be lost

Dear best friend. I'm sorry about my last post, whether or not you read it or not.
I wont delete it, cuz its something that I was feeling at the time, I wont hide it.

I'm just sorry cuz I the things I said will, or did hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, in fact you know how much I love you.:D

So, if we stop being best friends like we were once upon a time, or we drift apart, I wanna tell you

that the times we had together I cherish
and whatever it is, I am here for you
I'm glad I got to know you
and I'm glad you consider(ed) me as an important person
so thank you